Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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