That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize