Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
