I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
