doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
