Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
wow bdsm is so cute
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