is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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