My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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