So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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