I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
