I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
