nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize