Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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