just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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