You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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