when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
