How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
