I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My breasts were aching with rage.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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