He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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