I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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