he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
