I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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