totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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