hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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