Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
