You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
