I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
