I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
