The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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