there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
well you can't waste a boner
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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