this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
