Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
