All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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