Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
