Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
porn star boner night. come get it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
