am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
