I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
