how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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