just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
