ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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