I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
