i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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