Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
