It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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