dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
