You're so nebulous sometimes
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
