6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
