Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
