I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
