Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
