Sry I called you an 8
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
