Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
birth control should be required to get into college
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
