Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
