i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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