Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
