You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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