In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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