im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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