I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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