I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
