shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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