This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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