Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
