For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
