dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Boobs speak an international language.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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