I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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