If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize