i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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