I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
