omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
