I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
