That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
