I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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